Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
