i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize