My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
