This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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