I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
are you so shy because you have an std?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
i think i just lost a toe
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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