We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
