Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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