i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize