You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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