i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I still have a little drunk in my system
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
