I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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