awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
is wine microwaveable?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
