I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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