I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Also, beer. Big fan.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
