I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
