Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize