Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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