Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Can Purell be used as lube?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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