Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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