Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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