nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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