I want to make a zoo with you.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
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