I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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