I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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