we made out on top of his cat.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
