Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
