i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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