I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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