O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
