Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
There's always time for handjobs
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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