you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
