So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
