i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
