So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
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I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
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There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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