It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
