Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
zippers are such a cool invention
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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