I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
