Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
