no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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