Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
