It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
