we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
