does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize