It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
