I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
