I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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