Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
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When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
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History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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