Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
