Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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