Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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