Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
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The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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