I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Couch. On fire.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize