You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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