drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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