careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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