But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
